Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
