butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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