You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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