nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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