I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
