I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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