careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
