I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
His nipple licking is glorious
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