Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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