The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize