Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
