why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
