Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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