I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
