2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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