That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
