Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
