Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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