I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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