Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
where am i from again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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