id be glad to
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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