dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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