i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
