remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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