How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize