oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
