do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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