Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You pole danced in your parka.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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