So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
