He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
