Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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