About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
