I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
