He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
