You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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