he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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