Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
