I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
