i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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