If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
