so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
