your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
