$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
