everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
