You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
