My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
