Can Purell be used as lube?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
