No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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