Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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