I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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