He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I want to make a zoo with you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize