hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
