Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
