I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
