So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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